Train fatherhood to revive the family

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THERE is so much that works against the family nowadays. This is not something new as the family has been afflicted since its genesis.

THERE is so much that works against the family nowadays. This is not something new as the family has been afflicted since its genesis.

If you remember well, the first community of people that God created was a family and then the enemy came onto the scene and attacked the family by causing it to commit sin against the Creator.

Ever since, the family has functioned in bits and pieces, struggling to survive.

It will seem like, nowadays, the struggle is at its highest and many people are almost giving up and allowing things to just happen.

One of the biggest affliction family suffers is a passive, silent and absent fatherhood.

You see, the family is led by a father who is expected to give guidance and direction. However, in this generation, fatherhood is either passive or is absent leaving the family to move in any direction and therefore crashing.

You will agree with me that most fathers are so committed to other things than the moral and spiritual make-up of their families. They are at work far away from home and the mothers struggle with the challenges of keeping up the families.

Sometimes these mothers are abused and never supported. Most fathers are so committed to their professions, businesses, politics and so forth, at the expense of their families. Others are so committed to their pub fellowships that they hardly have time for the family. Many of us as fathers just visit our families and that is all.

When fatherhood is so absent in the life of the family, who teaches or trains the family?

Who leads the family and where are they leading the family to? It is not surprising therefore that so many families in our communities are existing without any purpose.

They can settle for anything and do not bother what kind of offspring they bring about. It shocks me to realise that no one can run a company, no matter how small, without a vision or mission, but can run a family without one and just do it anyhow.

Visit any vendor who knows what they are doing, they have a vision. All organisations have visions and are run accordingly.

Managers or leaders in these set-ups have goals to achieve, but how many of them have visions and goals for their families. A family is a huge institution purposed to produce people for God. It does not only procreate but also trains, teaches, develops and equips for life.

This suggests that there should be deliberate programming in order to achieve purpose. There is very little evidence, in our families, of such deliberate planning and focus. It is the role of the parents to decide what kind of an offspring they want to produce and then plan and work according to plan no matter how difficult.

I desire in my heart that we will see in our communities’ fathers who show the same zeal and passion for their families as in their businesses or careers. Fatherhood is the gateway to any family and therefore the gates must be watched and secured. The biggest challenge to fatherhood, apart from being passive, is ignorance of how to father the family.

You see, 50% of Africa is children and young people under 25 years of age. Most of them are fathers and mothers who grew up and are growing up in broken families.

They are now trying to bring up their own children under the same conditions and the results would just be same disaster. My question is how do we break this circle?

There are two generations of fathers here — this young generation that is so ignorant and so angry and confused and does not know what fatherhood is except procreating.

There is another generation that is so caught up in other things and in the cares of the world so much that it has no time for family. This generation loves money and career so much.

To me both generations need urgent help if the family is to survive and our communities survive.

What help can we render these?

  • Fatherhood must be taught and learnt. We need role models and we need deliberate teaching and training on fatherhood. I am convinced in my heart that if we are a serious country and we want to build the nation, we will put resources in empowering and equipping the family. If fatherhood was sound and effective, many of the ills bedevilling our communities would dissipate.

Again, churches. The government and the corporate world could team up to run trainings on parenting in a holistic manner. This will change a lot of things in communities.

  • Let us prioritise family.

To build a nation, you must build the family. As we observed earlier on, God would have created 10 billion people at once but He chose to create a family. This shows how important family is in community or country building. For any nation to survive and overcome, it should have sound and healthy families. Kilton is an author and pastor.