Wives have special needs and so do husbands. If these special needs are not met, couples soon get irritated and draw apart.
KILTON MOYO
Many of us believe it takes money, a good sum of it, to meet these needs and because of economic hardships, these are not necessary. I want us to understand that foundational needs here do not need money, but just commitment and passion.
I am going to try to show you what these needs are and what you have to do to meet the needs resulting in a joyous and exciting relationship. The biggest of needs to a wife is assurance. Assurance that she is loved and valued and cared for. Money could be there, food there and everything else there, but these do not meet the need for assurance.
What then can meet this? Husbands have a great need for rest and recharging. Sex does not meet this necessarily and neither does nice cooking and all that. There is something that we normally overlook which meets these greater needs successfully. I will try and assure you two places where these needs can be met fully.
●Your husband’s arms Got you right there. Your wife’s place of comfort, safety and assurance is your arms as a husband.
In your arms she is confident and certain she is loved and cared for. Women out there in the world are vulnerable and they are looking for men who care and who can support and protect them. Your arms are not for violence on her. They are for love. They are for care.
They are for tender assurance and love. It is a pity that most of us husbands find no value in not only hugging but embracing our wives. When you hold her to your chest in your arms you are communicating things that no other action of love can communicate.
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That is what builds the woman in her. You see, when your wife sees your arms as her best place to be at and her best place of safety and assurance, she becomes trusting and comfortable in your love. There are wives who are not sure if they are safe or not. I always marvel at some old, very old couples, particularly white couples who walk the streets hand in hand. They inspire me. In your house, at church, wherever you are, let your wife enjoy the comfort and hugging of your arms as a husband. If I were to repeat myself here I would say to all you gentlemen out there, open your arms for your wife and see what happens next. You will not ask for anything again. It will be natural.
Your arms have everything it takes to melt the woman and the giver in her. When they come from work tired, put your arms around them and watch what happens. The safest man on earth for any woman is a husband with a loved wife.
●Your wife’s lap and chest
I know this may sound ridiculous to some, but I can assure you that for any man out there, the wife‘s lap is a place of rest and recharging and I want every wife to understand this.
Do you remember how Delilah seduced Samson? In Judges 16:19 the Bible tells us that she made him sleep on her lap and had his head shaved. Well, in this story the lap was used for abuse and deceit, but I want you to understand that if there is any place anywhere in the world where a man can rest, sleep, recharge and give away his life for a wife, it is the lap.
I know that many men are looking for rest in pubs, bars and other places. This is to no avail. The place that will rest your mind, emotions, feelings, body, spirit and wallet, is your wife’s lap. Do not look for rest anywhere else for you shall not get it. Loving wives, who are keen on building their marriages and homes, will always lure their man to put their heads on their laps. There you can start conversations that build. There you can get answers you are looking for. There you can find assurance and love. Proverbs 5:19b says: “Let her breasts satisfy you at all times.”
Let me give you a tip my brothers out there. When you are beaten up by the world out there and your dignity is persecuted and you feel betrayed, how blessed it is to run home to a loving wife who will let you rest on her lap and lean on her chest and there receive your stamina back. They can weaken you in the world, but when you get home you know where to go for rest.
Our challenge is when we are frustrated in the world and get home only to find the same demons waiting. That is sad indeed. But at least, today you can make up your mind and go home to rest and relax in your own place.
Kilton Moyo is the creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme, and is pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or +263 712 384 841. [email protected]
