WOMEN are confusing. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a man describe a woman as complicated, I could probably buy myself a very nice pair of designer shoes!
I read in a women’s magazine recently, what I thought was a rather unfortunate piece entitled He made me pay? The young woman who authored the piece opens by saying that she endorses the traditional order of life which positions the man as the head of the home, “and so he provides, while the wife has the task of creating a well-oiled home life —` kids are bathed and fed and helped with homework”.
She then goes on to relate her outrage at a date who took her out for a meal and her favourite restaurant but expected her to pay the bill. She writes, “Yes, I can but I shouldn’t have to!” Unfortunately she doesn’t really tell us why she shouldn’t have to, leaving the readers in a bit of a quandary.
I tried to imagine how a man would process the contents of the article. I failed. My own reading is that there is a generation of women who want to “have it all” but at other peoples’ expense. There is nothing wrong with a man paying for a meal on a date.
But likewise there is nothing really wrong with him not paying either. What there is something wrong with, is a woman who claims to be independent and ambitious getting all worked up because a man is giving her the opportunity to demonstrate her independence and ambition.
Men, I am told, are simple creatures. They have simple minds and understand simple instructions. I will never forget a scene in the movie, White men Cant Jump in which a woman tell her lover that she is thirsty.
He brings her a glass of water and she says: “If I’m thirsty, I don’t want you to bring me a glass of water. I want you to svmpathise.
I want you to say: ‘Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I, too, have had a dry mouth.’ I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of drymouthedness.” Understandably this leaves the simple man totally confused!
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The complexities of women, particularly in the way they communicate about feelings, might make you wonder if you can ever comprehend them.
John Gray, the author of Men Are Form Mars, Women Are From Venus, a best-selling relationship manual, seems to have the answer: “When a man can listen to a woman’s feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself.
“The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.”