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What puts men off?

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LOVE, marriage and sex are at the core of human existence.

These can bring great joy and God’s creative pleasure to us, but if mismanaged they can be a cause of heartbreaks, stress and divorce. Some people have gone to an extent of being suicidal because of heartbreaks.

As we journey these series on relationships, I don’t intend for you to see the worst in the one you love, but to take stoke of your on traits and work to being the best to your loved one.

Neither is it my intention to make cause you to blame your spouse. The best thing you can do is to change you yourself before you demand for any change from others.

This is a universally cherished adage which was coined by Mahatma Gandhi, that we should be the change we want to see in the world so it with our relationships.

Once again, thanks for your views. I am not able to incorporate all of them here, but I found the following quite mind triggering: “Don’t try to change me, but charm me. Don’t ever say things, but show me. I am willing to learn, but don’t use a whip. The greatest love is when we together work towards the same goal of success and striving to satisfy each other”— Lubelihle Ncube.

Men have what they also expect from women they love. Men and women are different and that difference brings a great spice into the whole love thing.

From the interviews I made with most men, it showed that they appreciate beauty, but that’s not the whole things they are after, but there is more to it. What I found interesting are the things that put most men off in a love relationship:

Sex starvation
Research has proved that most men have more sex appetite than women. One man had to confess that if he is deprived of this golden time, it even affects his psychological disposition. At times, because of skirmishes in marriage or relationships, some women have used sex starvation as punishment to the man.

Communications becomes a necessary tool between the two in such cases. That could be another reason why some men have resolved for extra-marital affairs which then becomes the worst thing to do if we really wanted to build stronger marriages.

Negligence
This speaks to issues around self-care, hygiene and carelessness. Sometimes once women get married, they think that the future is secured and stop caring not only of the future but also how they look.

Hence, they forget that they ought to always look presentable and hygienic not the other way round of being flabby and shabby.

Take a bath, brush your teeth, make your hair, and wear a body deodorant. That changes the whole outlook for the best and your man will not be ashamed to stroll with your hand on his elbow in the public.

Nagging
Some centuries back the wise writer had to say: “It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

“Do you know why I spent the most of my spare time with a friend for a beer or two?” one man quizzed me.

“My wife talks and she never seems to tire and what do I do? I would rather spend less time with her. I prefer to arrive home at 10pm ready to retire for bed and next morning at 6 am ready to quit for my work. It’s not that I don’t love her, no? I can’t just stand her nagging me.”

Disrespect
One reader in our article last week, she had to say: “Women need love and attention, whereas men need respect.”

I found that to be true with most men that opened to me. If most women respected their husbands their love life will be great.

Parting point: As one speaker had to say, men seem to be from Mars and women are from Venus and we meet here on planet earth.

We are all different and that spices up our relationships. The best love is created on acknowledging our differences and working towards the best to each other. I can’t wait to here from you. Let’s continue the debate on Facebook and WhatsApp.

 Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach and motivational speaker.
Tel: 0772 581 918. Email: jonah@classicmail.co.za
Web: www.jonahnyoni.wordpress.com

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