SO I stumbled on rather shocking footage of Hip-hop artiste and business mogul Shawn Carter (more popularly known as Jay-Z), being assaulted by his sister-in- law Solange Knowles in a hotel elevator.
This incident took place at the Met Gala after-party in New York. The assault would have probably been more severe if Knowles had not been restrained by the bodyguard who was present in the elevator. As the kicking and screaming unfolded a rather unruffled Beyoncé Knowles Carter appeared calm and unaffected by the scene unravelling before her.
Beyoncé and Jay-Z are the darlings of the music industry. We watched Beyoncé rise as the lead singer in Destiny’s Child and come into her own. Beyoncé is the glamorous beauty who married the beast that is Jay-Z whom we love because he is super successful.
Together they paint a picture of a formidable loving power couple who have it all including a gorgeous little daughter. We’ve seen them in love and more recently Drunk in Love. Yet what we saw in that elevator showed us that the sometimes picture-perfect images we have of celebrities contain cracks and crevices.
If only elevators had ears we might be privy to the language that accompanied the assault. However, as life has it, we can only surmise and speculate as to what would have driven Solange to assault her brother-in-law. This, however, is not to imply that she had reason or just cause to assault Jay-Z.
I think if women are going to be up in arms about men assaulting women then the same standards should apply to women who assault men.
A lot of the time a woman assaults a man is romanticised. Think of all those ’80s soapies like Dynasty with the famous scenes of Alexis Carrington slapping Dexter hard across the face. This was always followed by a smoking hot kiss and passionate embrace.
Some will argue that it is unladylike to assault a man.A dignified lady with manners would not attack a man.
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This kind of behaviour is normally relegated to seemingly uncouth and uncivilised women. I think everyone was duly impressed by Jay-Z’s restraint as he did not reciprocate violence with violence, but instead held back and behaved like a gentleman. He upheld the biblical way of doing things as pointed out in Luke 6 verse 29 that if someone hits you on the cheek offer them the other one.
However, I know a lot of men would not have exercised the same self-control and would have gone out and meted the same violence bestowed on them if not worse. In some quarters it is believed if a woman initiates the first punch then a man has every right to counter it.
Throwing punches has always been felt to be a man’s forte and if a woman suddenly produces a fist then it’s assumed she has faced a man on his terms.
I am a firm believer of the adage that violence begets violence. I would rather walk away then get down and dirty. Some might call me a coward, but I don’t believe in putting on the boxing gloves. I will leave such antics to Floyd Mayweather.
At least he gets paid a bundle for throwing punches. Most of the time most people walk away with scars and very little else.
However, for some people being physical is more effective than “talking things” through. The irony, however, is that it always seems that when a man is assaulted by a woman he does not receive the same sympathy as in the case when a woman is assaulted by a man.
If anything his manhood is belittled and adjectives like weak, pathetic are hung around his neck. There are so many incidences of domestic violence that go unreported because men are afraid to report.
When it’s a woman who throws the punches in the home she brags about it and boasts about being in control. More often than not women will even go and demean the man in the presence of their female friends.
So why are we not as sympathetic when the tables are turned? It’s still the same violence. Let’s play fair. Violence is violence; whether it’s a man beating a woman or a woman beating a man.
Women have been fighting hard for equality with men so let’s not lower standards using the gender equation.
Sue Nyathi is the author of the novel The Polygamist. You can follow her on Twitter @SueNyathi
