The power within relationships

Jonah Nyoni

WE can rise from average to greatness if only we are willing. Today, I engage with Arthur Marara (AM) an attorney, author and international motivational speaker.

He has written a book called Personal development toolkit. He is an established expert on the issues of success and I could feel his passion for greatness as we talked in Bulawayo. Below are excerpts:

JN: Talking of personal develop, do you think I can be shaped by my friends, family and things like that to what I ultimately become?

AM: Les Brown says if you hang around with nine broke people you will become number 10. The people that are around you bring out the best in you alternately they could bring the worst in you because we are not an island.

People will always have something to say in our lives, but the most important thing is who comes in and who leaves.

That’s why I always say that other people are a blessing coming in and others are a blessing going out of your life. In order for you to grow, you have to be particular as to who is in your life.

What value are they adding to you? What principles are they sharing with you? People who do not add value in you, they take out value from you.

Once in a while take stock of who is in your life? Make an evaluation. What are they adding to you and also what are you adding to them?

Where are they taking you? When was the last time you talked to them and when you talked to them what happened in you? Certain people when you talk to them they inspire you to think big, think growth and think development. Other people when you talk to them they depress you.

They have a negative attitude, a negative approach and they don’t believe anything good from you. So you want to invest in people who celebrate your greatness, your future and who want you to succeed.

The problem with other people is that they feel happy to see you mediocre, they feel threatened when you say I want to go up. Why?

Most people we are comfortable with people at their level and not comfortable with people that want to break the norm and do the abnormal. It’s only people who do the ‘abnormal’ who make history.

Most things we see used to be abnormal, but now we can fly, record, but one point in time is was abnormal. What’s the secret? Those people who did all that they were willing to invest in people who are not willing to say no!

JN: A good team has to have a good coach. How do I choose the person who should coach me?

AM: The basis of coaching comes from the recognition of certain attributes that you need from other people and because you don’t have those attributes you can find them in other people.

So what you need to do now is to identify the person you want to have as you coach. What exactly do you admire about them? What to do want to learn from them?

You can’t learn swimming lessons from a drowning person. If you are struggling in your finances, you won’t be able to help me with my finances.

That’s why is so dangerous to be advised by a person who is in a financial crisis. If that advice works, it should work at least for him. That’s why Jonah, is our profession as speakers, one of my issues is you can’t be a motivational speaker and be poor.

You can’t tell people about greatness and be average. You can’t tell people about excellence and be average. Right now the world has grown to be a global village, you can learn from YouTube, you can subscribe into newsletters and even establish direct contact with people you want to learn from.

Most importantly the issue is on learning. Who are you learning from? It’s not just important to learn, who is teaching you? Some people simply teach you what they are not doing. Look for people that are practising what they are teaching.

JN: What’s the difference between coaching and mentorship?

AM: Basically it’s technically the same. A mentor is not just teaching you, but walking with you in the journey. A coach is basically guiding people through a certain journey.

The most important issue is walking the journey. That’s why it has been said, there is no point in walking to preaching the gospel, until our walking is preaching.

The world not is not in need of more orators, we have more of that, we need practitioners. Right now, the greatest form of motivation is action. People must see you to be moving, not just talking.

JN: So, what’s your final word of motivation as to remake, rebrand and restructure your life?

AM: The most interesting aspect about success is that it’s not mandatory, it’s by choice.

For more tips and advice go to, WhatsApp: 0772 581 918, e-mail: Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach and motivational speaker.