IF WE doubted our fears instead of doubting our dreams, imagine how much in life we’d accomplish? — Joel Brown.
The first time I heard someone use the expression umnyama ongelampisi I found it very comforting. I thought of all the things I had once feared, and then done, only to realise that there was no real reason to fear.
Like children fearing undefined monsters in the dark, we sometimes hold back from pursuing our dreams because we are afraid of something we cannot even name. Lately I have become aware that the monsters in the darkness do have names.
There is in fact, a whole community of these monsters, whose primary job in life, seems to be to prevent us from moving forward and realising our full potential.
Of course if you were to ask one of them what his job is, they would undoubtedly say they were there to protect us, but in truth, they do more prevention than protection.
One of their names is failure. As an adult, and particularly if you are accustomed to succeeding, to venture into unfamiliar territory can be a daunting prospect.
The idea of putting a whole lot of time, effort and other resources into some venture, relationship or cause — only for it not to deliver as we expected — is truly painful.
Imagining the disappointment that would follow is one of the main reasons why fear of failure prevents people from taking risks.
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Another fear is loneliness, whose twin sister is aloneness. Often people don’t make the distinction between these two, failing to realise that in fact, being alone can be a good thing and that it does not have to equate to loneliness.
But isolation can be painful. To be in a situation where you cannot identify anyone to turn to can fill one with panic and anxiety.
Sometimes we fear financial obligation. When one is thinking of starting a business, for instance, one might fear not being able to meet the obligations of salaries, rentals and other running costs, not to mention bank loans — if there are any.
All of this might cause one to postpone opportunities for success indefinitely.
Sometimes we are held back by the fear that we will lose our freedom. If I get a formal job I wont be free to move around as I wish. If I marry that guy I won’t be free to explore other relationships or even to live my own life the way I want.
If I start a business I won’t be free to use my money and my time the way I want. All of this may be true, but chances are that true freedom may well lie on the other side of these choices.
The thing with fear is that you will never know whether it was justified or not — until you defy it and go ahead with what you dream of doing anyway.
So as we make our plans for 2014, let’s plan as if there are no monsters in the dark. And if they are there, we must believe they are not mandated to consume you and I!
