THE football fraternity in South Africa last week bid farewell to Orlando Pirates icon, Senzo Meyiwa. He died in what can only be described as a tragic incident.
He met his untimely demise on Sunday October 26, when thieves ambushed the house of his lover in Vosloorus Township in Ekurhuleni. Meyiwa was apparently shot dead during the scuffle that ensued.
Born on September 24 1987 in uMlazi Durban, Senzo’s claim to fame is that he was on the path of becoming one of South Africa’s iconic footballers.
At 15 he made his debut playing for the Orlando Pirates youth team in 2002 and subsequently moved up the ranks to join the senior team in 2005.
Senzo also represented South Africa in the national team. There was no doubt that this was a gifted and talented player who had a sterling career ahead of him extinguished in one night by a senseless shooting.
Senzo is survived by his spouse, Mandisa and their daughter.
However, Senzo’s horrific death has been blighted by the blatant adultery of his much publicised affair with pop icon Kelly Khumalo.
The affair was first brought to light last year when Kelly Khumalo was arrested for assaulting Meyiwa’s wife Mandisa on the Empire off ramp. The affair went on to further yield a baby girl, Aphelele.
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In the aftermath of this rather sad trajectory, the nation has become polarised in the wife versus mistress saga. It is a story that we are all too familiar with. A story that has played itself out in several homes and at several funerals.
Mandisa is the devoted wife who stood by her man through thick and thin. Kelly is the side kick or side chick who supposedly wrecked a happy home.
Senzo’s dad made it explicitly clear that they would only recognise Mandisa as Senzo’s legitimate wife and that she would be the one to mourn the loss of her husband on the proverbial mattress.
Kelly, the “other woman” was banished from attending the funeral. This is the dilemma that befalls many a side chick. Many who creep into the graveyard long after the funeral proceedings have been concluded to bid their loved ones goodbye. It is a sad story indeed.
Kelly has always maintained that she was not aware that Senzo was married. If Senzo had been some nonentity, I might have easily believed that account, but clearly if you Googled the fellow you would have found information regarding his marital status.
Moreover, it would have taken a phone call or three to verify his marital status.
Look, it does happen that some women get duped into dating married men. Especially where the spouse has spent the last decade exiled in the United Kingdom or United States.
However, the onus lies on women to take the time to establish the marital status of the man. Sometimes it’s necessary to play detective and, trust me, if the guy is married, you will definitely see the tell tale signs sooner rather than later.
We know that there are many women who have no qualms dating married men. They are willing to be a side kick and play the role of second fiddle.
However, some side chicks are ambitious and have grander schemes of instituting a hostile takeover simply because they think they are better than the incumbent wife.
There are those “diehard” men who have no intention of leaving their wives. There are women who have aged as side chicks waiting for that divorce decree like it’s the Promised Land of Milk and Honey.
On the flip side, it is also true that some men have left their wives for the side chick. I have listened to many grand narratives of side chicks becoming elevated in status to main chicks.
However, I always maintain if he could cheat on his wife for you what do you think will stop him cheating on you in the not so distant future? What is to stop you being toppled out of the marital seat?
I am not here to play Judge Judy, but I sincerely believe that as adults we are all responsible for our actions.
Senzo made advances to Kelly and she accepted the invitation to the party. She could easily have said no; but instead she chose yes. Similarly, Senzo was fully aware of his marital status.
He made a conscience decision to violate those marital vows. Today we are sitting with ramifications of those decisions.
At the end of it all, we must remember that Senzo was celebrated for his prowess as a footballer and not for his antics outside the football field.
It’s fair to say he was a model soccer player but not a model husband.
Sue Nyathi is the author of the novel The Polygamist. You can follow her on Twitter @SueNyathi
