Sistertalk – Why women do it more


YOU’VE all heard the talk – women talk! Women talk about everything. Sometimes the level of disclosure that womenfolk engage in is quite shocking, particularly to men!

Southern Sister with Thembe Khumalo

Even as babies, girls tend to learn to talk earlier and more quickly than boys. We just can’t wait to get chatting. Unconfirmed research suggests that women speak about 20 000 words a day, while men only speak 7 000 in the same amount of time. That’s a 13 000 words per day head start for women!

But have you ever stopped to wonder what it is that women talk so much about?

I have long suspected that the reason women keep talking is that they have not yet mastered the art of silence. Men seem to have cottoned on long ago that by keeping quiet they actually control the conversation. You will talk and talk and talk and he will remain silent.

You will then wonder if he is listening, begin to wonder if what you are saying is upsetting him, wonder if you have overdone it, and eventually begin to doubt whether you are even making sense! Have you ever noticed how many conversations instigated by women end up with the woman making an apology? Ha! It’s the silence strategy which men have perfected. We could do well to learn from them.

What women don’t realise is that their love of talking places them at a great advantage over men. Precisely because men don’t like to talk, women can frighten them into action by threatening to talk. I know a grand total of exactly one man who responds positively to the words “We need to talk”.

Every other male I know will run a mile in the opposite direction. So, without realising it, women can spook men into doing what they would rather not do by inviting them to a little chat. Next thing you know, he’s eating right out of your hand – theoretically of course.

Women talk because its good to talk – its cathartic. You can do a whole lot of healing over a cup of tea and sympathy. All the pent up frustration and rage can be gone in one soothing conversation with a sympathetic best friend.

Women talk because they have opinions, they want to share their opinions with others, and (of course we cant deny it) because they want validation. Perhaps because our confidence levels are lower, we do seem to need others to agree with us more than men do. Women talk because they like to share – and sharing is caring. Children tell us this when they demand other children’s toys at nursery school.

The girl children, of course are better able to defend their desire for stuff that isn’t theirs. Or perhaps women talk because they simply have superior communication abilities. If you’ve got it, you might as well flaunt it!

But seriously, the real reason women talk is because they want meaningful communication. Men, on the other hand it seems, just want sex!