I AM not sure which cynic it was that came up with the saying, “When God wants to punish you:, he gives you what you ask for.” It certainly doesn’t seem consistent with our image of an all-loving all-merciful God, implying as it does, that he would otherwise not honour our requests.
I suppose its original intent may have been good. It may have been a caution against asking for too much, dreaming too big, or aiming too high. It may even have been a cautionary word to fight off any suggestions that those who seem to have it all may not necessarily be happy. At worst it is a spiteful piece of advice designed to take you down a notch or two should you happen to appear more blessed than the average observer. At best it provides cold comfort when the things we desire most fail to live up to expectation.
I once read a short story called the Devil’s Tithe in which the author’s central proposition was that every time something good happens to you, the devil comes along and takes 10%. In other words, every good thing is going to be marred by misfortune in some way. Not so different from the God punishing you mindset I suppose, but is it true?
In my view, this statement speaks to a crisis of expectation. If you believe that good things should come on a silver platter and have a “magic bullet” effect that takes away all your sorrows and makes your troubles go away, then you are likely to be resentful of anything that falls short, or seems to challenge your fairy tale solutions.
But recognising that even the man who loves you more than anything in the world is not your fairy godmother, that the job of your dreams is still going to be work, that becoming a dress size ten will still require discipline to maintain, means that you will not be thrown by the occasional curve ball. The temptation to look externally for solutions to problems is a human weakness which we may never overcome.
When you have recognised that you are ultimately responsible for how you choose to react to what life throws at you, that you do in fact, have a choice in this regard; when you are handed a rose, do you focus on the thorns, attributing them to the devil or to God’s punishment in giving you what you want — or do you admire the beauty of the flower with a thankful heart, understanding that the thorns which come with roses are not intended to harm you, but to protect the rose?
So, when your dream man comes with an annoying habit, or your ideal job turns out not to pay what you hoped, or your fantasy home presents itself in a dodgy location with a leaky roof, choose to ignore the small discomforts, and instead give thanks, for it is good.
