Tell the man!


WOMEN love to talk, right? We’ve had this conversation before, and we have acknowledged it to be true. So why do we hold back on things that really bother us?

Like Valentine’s Day for instance; and birthdays; and anniversaries. Every woman I know, whether she admits it or not, wants her man to do something for her on one or all of these special days. And yet so many of us wait quietly for the man to forget.

We count down the days with our girlfriends – pointing out all the signs which show us that this thought is very far from the man’s head. As the day looms closer, we become quite anxious because we can see that the worst we feared is actually very likely to happen after all.

As we become more anxious, we become less pleasant to live with, more grumpy, more withdrawn, and the sense of humour goes on holiday right up to the day after the non-event.

When the day comes, we continue waiting. We let the man go to work, we let him come home and eat his supper.

Just as he is looking forward to laying his weary head down to rest, it finally dawns on us that there is no last minute surprise hiding anywhere; that the poor soul really has well and truly forgotten, and that he is obviously not worthy of our love and attention.

At this moment, we exhale and unleash the drama.

Now to be fair, I have to say that not all sisters go into a full scale dramatic production. You know the kind that involves tears, Bible verses, reminders of transgressions from years gone by, memories of early dating bliss, recounting of childbirth trauma and who knows what other irrelevancies the man may be required to make sense of!

No, there is a breed of sisters who will simply sulk.

It’s embarrassing to use the word sulk in relation to an adult, but that is honestly what we do. We employ the silent treatment, the I-am-not-your-servant treatment, which means suddenly discontinuing basic domestic support like washing a brother’s undies, scrubbing a brother’s back, or clipping a brother’s toenails; or to indicate the seriousness of the issue, we withdraw sexual favours.

Well I hope by now you are starting to see how our behaviour looks from a man’s point of view; and how thoroughly illogical it can make us seem. If you want a man to remember Valentine’s Day, for goodness’s sake, remind him! Remind him a month before, a week before and the day before if you have to.

If you think he may make an inappropriate choice of gift, tell him what it is you want. If necessary tell him where he can get it, and even for how much!

It may seem crude and boring at first, but that is how he will learn. Don’t over estimate the emotional intelligence of your man – it is well documented that he comes from a species that doesn’t score highly in that area.

Do yourself, your man, and your relationship a favour, and just tell him!

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