YOU know there’s a song by Roxette that I used to love growing up as a teenager. It was called Dressed for Success.
The duo crooned how they were going to get dressed for success, shaping it up for the big time. As much as we hate to admit it, we do judge a book by its cover before appreciating its contents.
The way something is packaged will determine how we react to it. This same law applies when you meet someone of the opposite sex.
You are attracted by the way they look and only later do you fall in love with their personality. Same applies in a job interview. First impressions count which is why people will look pristine and polished to make a lasting impression.
Such was the case last week when political and public figures paraded down the red carpet for the 2014 State of the Nation Address in South Africa.
MP Thandile Sunduza caused a fashion furore when she showed up in a yellow off-shoulder dress which might have looked better on a slender figure as opposed to her seven-month pregnant self. And so began the tirade about how people discriminate against fat people.
Sunduza herself went on to say if Beyoncé or Bonang Matheba were wearing the same dress, there would have been no issues. That is because that dress was probably made for someone that size.
You know it’s not by accident that we have dress sizes ranging from 2-50 depending on which part of the world you come from.
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Those dress sizes take cognisance of the fact that we come in different shapes and sizes otherwise we’d have a one size fits all mantra. This is why at times you can get some dresses in sizes 8-12, but won’t find them in a size 16.
This then leads to people screaming discrimination. In the same vein, there are dresses that come in sizes 16-24 that can’t be worn by smaller-bodied women yet the petite don’t cry foul. I have encountered many plus-size women who are well turned out. Look at celebrities like Adele, Jill Scott, Queen Latifah and Monique who give big and beautiful a new sexy meaning.
Not straying too far I even saw many buxom women on the SONA red carpet that looked ravishing. Take Lindiwe Mazibuko, the DA Parliamentary leader. She is a voluptuous woman of generous proportions, but stunned on the red carpet in a silver number. The point I am merely making is dress for your size.
Over the years I have migrated from a size 10 to a size 14, but you will not catch me trying to squeeze into my size 10 clothes. I have decided that until I have shed the weight I have gained those clothes are out of bounds.
Not only will the seams come apart in protest if I try to forcefully fit myself into them, but I don’t want to walk around looking decidedly offensive. There is nothing worse than a caterpillar silhouette. So, I wear clothes that will complement and enhance my current form.
Most of us want to dress for the body we want; not the body we have. Now I have often heard people say it doesn’t matter what you wear; just as long as you have the confidence to carry it off. Make no mistake, Sunduza was oozing buckets of confidence on that red carpet so it came as a surprise to me when she later collapsed at OR Tambo International Airport and had to be rushed to hospital.
Suddenly there was a backlash against social media for the comments they had passed. Then I asked myself if the backlash was not misdirected.
You know a lot of times we are not honest.
Yes, the truth hurts, but the truth will also set you free. Growing up when I was dressed in an unflattering way my mother would advise me to change attire.
Now I do that myself. I scrutinise myself in the mirror before I go outside because I know the external scrutiny will be harsher. I have the confidence to know what works for me and what doesn’t.
So when in doubt ask. Your partner, sister or friend should be able to set you straight and say “you’re not looking good in that and yes your bum does look big”.
Why wait for the whole world to rudely point it out and cause you untold humiliation? Yes, there’s freedom of expression in how we choose to dress, but dress to impress for your size and shape. Sue Nyathi is the author of the Polygamist. You can follow her on Twitter @SueNyathi
