HomeEditorial CommentPutting politicians in the dustbin

Putting politicians in the dustbin

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DON’T you believe that the world is in the mess that it is in because of politicians? They have so perfected the art of throwing spanners into anything that works.

It’s a skill no other profession (if one may call it that) has ever been able to muster. When one’s hopes are raised, trust the politician to bring them crashing.

I was intrigued by an article by Carissa Kane whose analysis of the word “politics” I found intriguing. It comes from two words, the Latin word poly which means many and tics which describes “blood-sucking creatures”. This leads to the equation: Many + Blood Sucking Creatures = Politics!

In her argument, there is nothing called an honest politician. We have seen over the ages many well-meaning, honest, straight people enter politics only for their impeccable record to be tarnished forever.

An honest politician is an oxymoron. You must have heard the Irish joke about two blokes who come across a gravestone written: “Here lies an honest man and a politician” to which one of them quips: “But they can’t do that!”

“Do what?” the other one asks. “Bury two people in one grave!”

Our own political turf is littered with examples.

How many moons ago were we promised milk and honey, heaven and earth and the Zambezi Water Project?

They invent all sorts of excuses why things are not working; that is if you don’t buy the sanctions mantra like the rest of us. That song has been so overplayed the discord is deafening.

If one thing can be said, politicians thrive in an environment full of confusion. The more bamboozled we all are, the worse they perform.

Corruption and politics are incorrigible twins. Power brings money, women and downfall, in that order. We all know what money does to honest people who get their hands in the till and then common sense goes out of the window.

Admittedly, no one is a saint. You would do likewise if you found yourself exposed to so much money. You literally lose your mind. Women, very pretty ones too, come with the territory, and they invariably lead to one’s inevitable downfall.

Which means one thing, very little good can ever come from a politician, unless of course there is something in it for them. Which is exactly why people enter politics in the first place — for purely selfish reasons.

Worse still if that someone emerged from the bush to suddenly wield so much power — he has to keep pinching himself to ensure that he is not dreaming.

How about all those countrymen scattered on all four corners of the globe because of no fault of their own except that of politicians?

I know how much they all want to come home if it were not for all those broken promises.

Those sweet nothings about inviting “our brothers and sisters in the Diaspora” back without any guarantees!

They need assurance that they are not being led up yet another garden path. There are things one cannot just wish away in the name of the national interest no matter how hard one tries.

Our politicians should be grateful that it is the earnings from the hard sweat of these patriots that kept the economy going so miraculously. Now the sons and daughters of the soil have become the nomads of the world, victims who wander in a desert of misfortune.

Wherever they lay their heads they called it home. It’s a painful experience because they yearn to come back home. But wolves and hyenas eagerly await their return. There even is a plot to tax the earnings of Zimbabweans overseas as we speak. What cheek!
Let us allow technocrats to run the show. Zimbabweans are running the world already, so that won’t be too hard. We are educated, we work hard and most of us (save for our politicians) are very honest.

The only blemish is perhaps the last ten years when politicians drove us to the brink such that we had to eat grass to survive.

So intent were they to take us back to the days of the caveman that we now find ourselves hewing wood for cooking and fetching water from holes in the ground.

Without politicians there would be no unnecessary haggling. Technocrats would get straight to the crux of the matter.

Our resources, particularly diamonds, would be exploited in a transparent way to benefit us all without having to go cap in hand to the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank.

Technocrats that I am talking about are not of the dubious variety — you know, party aligned bootlickers, sharks and praise singers that we read about in the papers.

They must be squeaky clean individuals with a strong professional background and experience.

Chanting slogans cannot be taken as being qualified enough, any moron can do that. If the truth be told, war credentials have failed us.

Lenox Mhlanga is a social commentator

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