HomeOpinion & AnalysisPornography wrecks marriages

Pornography wrecks marriages

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I AM sure no one could love the feeling of being caught watching it, but it shows, through research statistics that more and more people continue to glare and glue to it.

Some have been entangled into the habit of feeding their minds with it and they are finding it hard to quit the infatuation.

It could be compared to sweet poison. It looks enticing and interesting, but it has caustic and costing side effects. It’s called pornography.

The Internet has even perpetuated this perverted industry by making it easily accessible.

The times have changed and in the old age it was possible to get married without having seen the nude form of an opposite sex.

I wish my child grow up in such an environment that I grew up in; but it’s no longer the case. Porn has effects and for the purposes of this paper allow the writer to tackle the darker side.

There could be positives which the writer is not aware of, please lets have the debate on our official SMS and WhatsApp facility (0772 581 918).

Reduced sexual performance
Porn could mean a short cut to arousal. This means one no longer need to be aroused for sexual intimacy by their spouse and that’s the reason why some people end up resorting to masturbation to douse the sexual fires, especially if there is no one to have sex
with.

Reduced or no foreplay
In most responses that I got from women in our previous articles, their cry was centered on lack of prolonged romance. They yearn to have that good time with their sweetheart.

In some sexual instances, the situation is worsened by pre-mature ejaculation from their male counterparts.

This could be caused by porn which automatically causes an arousal and because someone is already turned on that leads to early ejaculation.

At the end, the sexual act comes in just to satisfy one part and it’s no longer a mutual journey as it should be.

It’s lust not love
Porn activates your sexual antenna. It’s no longer about the love from the heart, but it’s about who could be closer enough so that I get the pleasure.

Sex becomes the issue of the body and less of intimacy which is what lust is all about.

I think God created sex, not only for pleasure but to unite married people in their love life and make the bond stronger.

Love is degraded to a less act
Different psychological scholars have agreed that there is no reality in porn.

In actual sense it involves violence, caricatured scenes, elongated and exaggerated sex acts. This may cause people to use others to satisfy their appetites.

To me that’s no longer affectionate, tender or expressed love, but lust.

Sex is based on selfishness
Jimmy Evans on Marriage Today, a TV programme on Daystar, says porn causes over arousal which could be followed by an act of sex. Sex is about getting what one wants as a release or relief.

Porn creates comparisons
I remember it was in 2011 when I had a pre-marital counseling together with my girl friend who is now my wife.

Our counselor told us that everyone has their own perception of sex, but that shouldn’t define our own sex life. With porn, you have to see different people in the act.

That makes you to compare what you have tasted or what you are to taste with what you viewed.

Creates unrealistic expectations
Like any other natural movie, porn was acted and it could have been done under the influence of drugs.

Besides movies have a lot of props and make-ups which are hard to find in real life.

That blurs the reality of being a real human who has shortfalls; instead it turns a human being into a sex machine which could be triggered to be sexed-up over longer times.

Porn creates a perverted mindset
Sex was meant to be between two people for intimacy and as a highest expression for love.

Porn creates a tainted mindset that could lead the viewer to indulge a lot because of hyped arousal thereby opening doorway to other problems.

In an article by Dolf Zillmann titled Influence of unrestrained access to erotica on adolescents’ and young adults’ dispositions toward sexuality, in the Journal of Adolescent Health 27 (August 2000): 41-44 concludes that exposure to elongated pornography may leads to:

  •   An exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society,
  • Diminished trust between intimate couples,
  • The abandonment of the hope of sexual monogamy,
  • Belief that promiscuity is the natural state,
  • Belief that abstinence and sexual inactivity are unhealthy,
  • Cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners,
  • Belief that marriage is sexually confining,
  • Lack of attraction to family and child-raising.

Parting point: Healing is possible from any distorted perceptions about real sexual intimacy. Beyond reasonable doubt, in watching or reading porn you are not making yourself any better, neither are you getting a recreational detour.

Instead you are you are feeding on a pernicious thought-line that could ravage your conjugal life.

The first step is to take control of your core sex organ; which is not your vagina or penis but your eye. Secondly, seek for help immediately and get free from the claws of porn.

Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach and motivational speaker.
Tel: 0772 581 918. Email: jonah@classicmail.co.za
Web: www.jonahnyoni.wordpress.com

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