FOR BETTER FOR WORSE

I HAVE attended so many weddings in my life. One of those weddings was my own some 26 years ago.

I HAVE attended so many weddings in my life. One of those weddings was my own some 26 years ago.

I have heard couples vow and declare with boldness and faith “for better for worse”. This means that they will stick to each other come hell come thunder. This is a great promise of commitment from one to another.

However, looking around today you see couples that live and behave like they never spoke these words to one another. Human nature will always betray promises and when this great promise is betrayed, love is betrayed too.

For better for worse simply means: “I will love you no matter what happens around us. I will love you in good and bad times. I will love you in sickness, lack, plenty, anger, tribulation, failure and success. I will love you as long as we both have breath in us. There are no circumstances that can separate us or kill our love for each other except death.”

Hallelujah! I am not sure what you understand by this vow, but I just want us to look at it closely and see if we can keep it alive in our marriages.

The challenge these days is that we have quickly forgotten our promise to each other under pressure of both better and worse things.

Many couples with money, wealth, fame and riches have neglected and divorced their spouses. They have prioritised these above their spouses and above the promises they made. In fact, they care less about the promise and make themselves great liars.

Beloved, marriage is based on promises and flourishes on fulfilled promises. This promise is the lifeline of every marriage and when it is forgotten it kills all. Right now you are probably struggling, hurt, bitter and stuck in a relationship where your spouse is paying more attention to their wealth or fame and not you.

I thought you promised each other you were going to enjoy fame, wealth and riches together. At least that is what you promised.

Many couples have broken down under pressure of circumstances. They have allowed lack, poverty, accidents, friends, relatives and sickness to break their love for each other. When we are under pressure, as humans, we tend to forget our promises and this is what makes us even more vulnerable.

See how you fight each other because there is no money at home. See how you fight each other because of friends and relatives. See how you are fighting each other because there is sickness or some disability now. You have allowed all these circumstances to break love.

I want to suggest to you today that love was not meant to be overcome by circumstances. Love is an overcomer. If couples stick together in love, they would overcome every hurdle the enemy throws at them.

To defeat you, the enemy seduces you to be suspicious of your spouse’s love for you in hard times or good times. Now that you have some riches, you think your spouse will bewitch and kill you.

Now that things are hard, you think your spouse is responsible. Sorry. Once you fall for this, instead of pulling your efforts together in fighting lack or whatever it is, you pull apart fighting each other.

Many people invest most of their time fighting each other instead of loving each other. Don’t you see that this is a trap? You vowed, voluntarily and out of love to be there for each other in all situations.

You made the promise. It works when you decide to work on it. Beloved, it is for better for worse. Challenges will always come to our marriages, but we have to make a choice not to be distracted from the main thing.

The main thing is to love your spouse. Your love for each other makes you a strong team. It makes you courageous and helps you release your dominion to overcome. We become even weaker and vulnerable when we stop loving each other and side with our circumstances.

For better for worse means that you will not stop loving your spouse till the day you drop dead. This is what you meant when you vowed. God and everyone expects you to keep that vow alive daily till the end. How do you do this?

Separate your spouse from circumstances. They are not the source of it, no matter what you think. The devil is. Remember always that the devil wants you to fight, blame and destroy your spouse.

Your love for your spouse is not based on circumstances or influenced by them. Let nothing define your love for your spouse. Love them genuinely even under attack. Perfect love casts out fear.

Remind each other of your vows. These are not a one-day thing. Keep saying them to each other. Perhaps during your anniversary, take time for each other.

For better for worse!

Kilton Moyo is a pastor, Guidance & Counseling Consultant and Author of Responding to Personal Crisis. Call or whatsapp on +263 775 337 207 or 0712 384 841.