IT is important to try and keep the fire and the sparkle of your love life burning. People age and die, but love is not meant to age or die.
In marriage both spouses are responsible for keeping their love life alive and burning, this gives them victory over the enemy. Let us look at a few little things we can do to keep the fire burning:
Enjoy touching each other. Physical touch is good therapy for lovers and it helps keep you connected. Holding hands while walking or sitting on your sofa is a healthy thing to do more so as you grow older.
Touching communicates your care, presence and love. It reassures your spouse. Every one of us needs this reassurance in marriage.
Always touch your spouse with gentleness and not roughness. Your gentle touch communicates your deeper love. Let me add here and say know where to touch at any given time.
Situations will demand different touches. If you are not sensitive, your touch can embarrass your spouse and you miss the point. You can touch your spouse through gifts, love notes and many others.
These are physical little things that mean a lot to your spouse. You can touch them emotionally by words and your attitudes. Words of love give life and hope. Beautiful sweet words bring healing and your gentle attitude of love and care brings so much security to your spouse.
You can touch your spouse spiritually by encouraging them in the word if you are a Christian family. If not you can encourage each other with words of hope. It is a great thing to prophesy to each other as a couple.
This brings a lot of encouragement and confidence. You see, you have a duty of building each other as a couple. You can touch each other deeper by recognising each other’s gifts and begin to encourage and build on those lines. I enjoy it when my wife tells me she believes in me and she is proud of me.
It does not matter what others say out there. What your spouse says about you is deep, true, edifying and inspiring.
I think that as couples there is a great need to try our best to be together and to physically connect and keep in touch with eachother.
Participate together in all you are doing. Enjoy each other’s gifts and success. Some couples get threatened by their spouse’s success instead of enjoying the time they have together they fight.
This is unfortunate. Give to one another as much as you possibly can. Know your spouse’s needs and try and meet them.
Give that which they need and not your opinion or choice. Elkanah in the Bible made this mistake of wanting to give his wife Hannah what he wanted and not what the wife wanted.
Hannah wanted a child and was always downcast over this. Elkanah on the other hand gave her meat and offering. This was not what the spouse wanted. She wanted a son.
It is important to know what your spouse needs and give them that. You and your spouse are like twins. Learn to grow together and celebrate together, share everything.
Many couples fall easy prey to dividing forces in that they operate as individuals and never share anything together.
You are one flesh. You are two people in one. Focus on the oneness and that is what makes you a great team. Marriage life is sweet and beneficiary if spouses can understand their one purpose in two.
It becomes refreshing when you can edify each other. My encouragement is to stick together, walk together, laugh together, cry together and most importantly pray together.
Be one in all you do and you will not struggle with the other things that affect other couples.
You can make your marriage work if you choose to.
Kilton Moyo is a pastor, guidance and counselling consultant and author of the Sex Trap. You can call or WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207 or +263 712 384 841.