ONE of the biggest principles of life is sowing and reaping. This simply means that what you sow is what life will give back to you.
We can sow attitudes, thoughts, actions, words, habits and many other things. What comes out of me towards others will eventually bring a harvest to me.
If I sow evil I will reap evil. If I sow good I will reap good. There are no two ways about it. In other words what you want in life you must be able to give it out first. Marriage is a wonderful field for sowing and reaping in life.
Everyday we sow in our marriages our actions, words, attitudes and many others and everyday we are reaping in our marriages the things that we sow. Perhaps what frustrates you now in your marriage you sowed in the past years.
The good you are enjoying you sowed. I need you to seriously consider your marital status today and then sit back and find out what happened for you to be where you are.
Media reports that our courts are flooded with marital problems. This is an indication that marriage is under pressure and if we are not talking about it and trying to help each other, we will end up in a divorce.
You will discover that at the beginning of your challenges that whatever the two of you sowed into your relationship grew. Usually people tend to look outside and blame others, the economy, the church and relatives.
What others may sow in my marriage is less poisonous than what I sow in myself. If I have sown the right seeds attitude, love and so forth, any poison sown from outside will be dealt with easily.
You see, the Bible, which is the best ever manual for living in marriage, teaches us something of great value in Proverbs 14:1. “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
There is building by wisdom and there is pulling down of the foolish. Congratulations to all those couples out there building their marriages and sowing in wisdom and everything valuable that makes them withstand the storms.
I want to focus on the other group that tears down their marriage with their own hands.
With our own hands – actions, habits, manners, words, attitudes and lifestyles-we can bring down our marriages. Before we blame others, can we be able to look inwardly first.
If you look inwardly, you will find that you are more involved in the problems than the other person. It is our actions and words that give our problems life and power to destroy us.
If you have a serious challenge today in your marriage, before you point a figure at your spouse or relatives, look at yourself first.
There you will find the heart to your problems. The reason why many marriages fail is that couples are quick to blame other and never themselves.
The solution begins when you realise your own contributions and dealing with them. Very few people have the guts to do this and they would rather let go and destroy their marriages and afflict their children, than repent and take leadership.
Failure to own up and take leadership is like a curse to many marriages. May I suggest to someone out there today, who thinks they have come to the end of their marriage, to stop and look at self.
It is what you have sown that is frustrating you. You can undo it if you want to. Before you walk out and hurt yourself permanently, I ask you to give reason and love a chance. Self-introspect and there you will find the solution.
Beloved, we have sown a lot of junk in our relationships and we always find scapegoats. Economic challenges, distance, relatives, to name just a few, are scapegoats and secondary. I have said it before that we need to be able to separate our love and relationship from things.
We need guts now to dig out the wrong seeds sown and pull them out. It is not easy but anyone genuinely interested in the purpose of marriage will be able to do so. Protect your marriage. Protect your spouse.
Protect your children and bless the name of the Lord by enjoying your marriage no matter what. Let us talk about marriage as a generation and do it the God way.
Kilton Moyo is a pastor, guidance and counselling consultant and author of the Sex Trap. You can call or WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207 or +263 712 384 841.