We discovered last week that the number one reason for divorce was and is lack of intentional investment in our marriages.
Most of us do not plan to invest time and resources in making their marriages work and healthy.
Marriage is work and your marriage is your responsibility. Do not leave this responsibility to your relatives, pastors or friends. You will be disappointed. Each spouse has a work to do to make the marriage work and overcoming.
We tried last week to suggest many things and encourage you to plan right from the beginning to invest in your marriage.
I hope somebody got the idea. Today, we need to biblically qualify our call to invest in our marriages and families. Matthew 6: 21 says: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
I have come to learn that the Word of God is supreme over all our human thoughts and efforts.
If we abide by the Word and do things according to it, we overcome and we enjoy the results. The human heart will always follow the treasure, the investment or simply, money.
Where you put your much effort, might, power, time, heart, mind and soul, your heart dwells there.
Many of us put our treasures in many things except our marriages. We then pay so much attention to those things at the expense of our life giving relationship.
I have seen many great men and women putting so much effort and love and commitment to their careers living their marriages to die.
They have all the time for their jobs, business, politics etc, except their marriages. Have you not seen big bosses in big positions in big companies doing so well in their duties, but failing so dismally in marriage and family?
I have seen many and we will continue to see many unless they change their priorities.
What does it benefit a man to win the whole world and lose their soul? What does it benefit you to win all accolades as a successful manager, director, leader, bishop etc, but lose your family because you did not care?
This is selfishness that this generation must address.
The moment you are called a husband or wife, your priorities must change. Your spouse is second to God and never second to your job or career.
You will then do everything else within that realm of husband or wife to your spouse or father and mother to your family.
It is us who mislead our hearts by putting our treasures in secondary things.
If you want your heart to be in your marriage, invest in that marriage. This is our call and invitation. You can change your situation by focusing on right things or first things first. Your spouse comes first, therefore, pay attention.
It is surprising that some of us would invest so much on small houses, committing adultery.
We will give so much and go out so much with small houses at the expense of our marriages. We are doing the right thing with wrong people. It’s a paradox. It’s confusing to say the least.
Here with only two suggestions on investing on your spouse or marriage.
Make your spouse attractive.
This is your responsibility to keep them sparkling. You are doing it for you and not anyone else. I know some of us will say, they will attract others.
That is the mindset of jealousy which is destructive.
Beautify your spouse, be proud of them. Many men, in particular, who cannot appear in public with their spouses, are guilt of this omission.
Invest in making your spouse attractive in appearance, style, academic and personal development. It is your duty beloved. That is why you are husband and wife, to develop each other and together.
Invest in recreational activities.
Many marriages suffer the lack of this. If you would want to make your marriage fresh and interesting and healthy, invest in recreational activities. Play together. Never be too old for your spouse.
Marriage is not about your social status beloved. You are a husband or wife to your spouse and not a boss, manager, director etc.
They are married to you and not necessarily your office or status. They remain a husband no matter how big you have become in society. Play with your spouse. Go out together.
Visit together. Be lovers for goodness sake. Attend camps together. Attend seminars together and do much more together as lovers just to love and appreciate each other.
My prayer is for you both to prioritise each other this year and invest your treasure in your relationship.
Enjoy marriage beloved. It is there to be enjoyed. As from next week, for some time, I will be focusing on pre-weds and until I return to couples, be practicing everything we have shared with you.
Hope to see you excited in your marriages. Thank you for allowing us to help the pre-weds too for at least a month or so.
Seminars are ongoing and those who want to join us this Saturday we are in Nkulumane at a church called Gospel Rescue Missions.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counselor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or whatsapp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or +263 712 384 841. firstname.lastname@example.org