Hello, my friends. I trust you have been behaving well.
So, this past week, the joke was on culture queen Sandra Ndebele’s lyrics in her new—or old—song with Platform One.
If I might mention my bias and personal affection for her, I totally dote on her, kikikikiki.
Okay, sentiments aside, why on earth would she shoot a music video towards the end of 2025 for a song that was released three years ago? Hmmm, Sandy?
There is no logical explanation for that other than doing it because you can.
I saw a couple of comments on YouTube where people gave mixed reactions; some called Sandy an icon, while others begged to differ.
One comment I agreed with was the advice that she invests in a ghostwriter, kikiki.
It’s true, my dear. I mean, that part of the song where you say “Angithi manje nisdlisa amarice” had me shaking my head—a clear sign that the bank of lyrics has run dry.
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Also, invest in a professional team of PAs, publicists, and management because the ones surrounding you at the moment? Kikikiki.
The other hilarious part of the video, which features Platform One, is former minister Sithembiso Nyoni as she danced and threw herself all over the stage, carefree and enjoying herself. Life is too short; I love your spirit, Gogo.
Theatre of sadness
Have you guys realised that of late, our beautiful Amphitheatre has become a symbol of sorrow? We often gather there for a grand funeral of one of our own.
From Insimbi Zezhwane, uGogo Wodumo, Sihlangu Dlodlo, Babongile Sikhonjwa, and Desire Moyoxide, we have crisscrossed town going there only to cry.
How come we don’t flood the Amphitheatre for living artists?
How come we don’t see those same numbers of people coming to watch a show by a local artist while they are alive?
Where do we get off displaying such double standards?
These are triple standards if there even is such a thing.
No, No, No, my friends. No.
Let us do better. I heard the statement “abantu bazishit” being thrown around by speaker after speaker at Moyoxide’s funeral, even by Chief Mbuso Dakamela.
Let us redeem our characters and show that we are better people by filling up all these venues in support of our living artists.
Miss-ed opportunities
Today I want to talk about a number of women who had great opportunities in life but did not use them, for one reason or another.
First up is Tholakele Dlamini.
Oh, my friends, that girl was international standard.
She modelled on the same ramp as Naomi Campbell overseas at the top fashion shows and was tipped to take the industry by storm, but somehow she just faded into nothing.
I met her for the first time while she was having a beer and relaxing—a sight for sore eyes.
Then we have Ashley Morgan.
Now, this one is super funny, kikikiki.
She won Miss Nust in 2014, then later won Miss Tourism Zimbabwe plus a car and US$$37 000.
Instead of investing wisely and using the title to grow her brand, she became cold and aloof and limited herself to one toxic friend, a girl who used to work in radio.
The two girls painted Victoria Falls red and wore matching outfits, which they changed four times a day, kikiki. Should have chosen the right friends.
Do you guys know a girl called Chipo Mandiudza? She was once Miss Tourism Zimbabwe, I think around 2022.
I don’t know why she did not take the opportunity and run wild.
She reminds me of Sakhile Dube, the previous Miss Universe Zimbabwe.
Oh, that girl had the greatest pedestal in the history of Zimbabwean pageantry, second only to Brita Masalethulini, whom we will also discuss.
Sakhile had the love and support of the whole nation and had limitless access to the influential Miniyothabo Baloyi-Chiwenga.
She was often photographed with very famous people like Nigeria’s Vanessa Chindima.
One would have thought she’d carve an acting career through links with such people, since they have a thriving industry which is Netflix-supported, kikikiki.
Instead, the beautiful and reserved starlet only flooded her Instagram account with bikini photoshoots, something a bit fickle, if I may say.
Look, many of us were still kids—those who were lucky to have been born by then—when Brita was crowned the first-ever Miss Malaika in Sun City, South Africa, in the early 2000s.
It was in the golden age of the entertainment industry, and Miss Malaika was a one-of-a-kind pageant, as it saw a bevy of beauties from different African countries vying to be the continental queen.
The prizes included a brand-new Mercedes Benz and some US$200 000, amongst so many other lavish gifts.
It was attended by so many prominent people, including sitting presidents like Thabo Mbeki, Robert Mugabe, and Laurent Kabila of Congo.
A famous Swahili song by the same title was recorded and performed for Miss Malaika, while Awilo Longomba performed.
Now, can someone explain to me how one gets the crown and is the main reason for all the things I listed, only to vanish into thin air?
I know she is said to be on radio at Capitalk FM, but still, she really went under a rock. Why? Huh? How? Why? Hai hai, girls?!
And do you know what else all of you have in common?
You are from the Matebeleland region. I hope things will change, and we will all take a lesson from our predecessors (I mean models) and do things differently.
Alright, my good buddies, I shall catch up with you again next week. But if you miss me between then and now, visit my Instagram page @SouthernEye and remember to be good. If you can’t be good, then be safe.
