LIKE CHARITY, culture begins at home; those activities that become the normal doings within the family and the manner by which they do them. Both father and mother are the driving force behind all goings-on.
A typical Ndebele woman does not sleep until sunrise. She gets up early to do her house chores like sweeping around in her kitchen and the yard , putting away things (utensils) and bringing order to the homestead .
She brings water from the well and makes fire to warm water for the family.
She does all this with the help of grown up girls who must learn a woman’s duties and responsibilities at a young age.
Generally there is no cooking in the morning because breakfast is not eaten.
Some people may drink amahewu in the morning if they want. Nowadays, however, breakfast consisting of tea and amaqebelengwana or bread if available, is becoming a new culture.
A significant aspect of the Ndebele family culture is the division of labour between males and females.
Mother and the girls as well as all able-bodied females are responsible for female chores — cleaning up and tidying the homestead, cooking, fetching water and firewood, ukubhada lokusinda, manufacturing utensils, baskets, mats and so on.
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Consequently a woman is busy throughout the whole day. Aunts, gogo and any other females present are part of the female system of duties.
Ndebele culture is very particular about gender roles.
For instance a man seen washing pots, washing clothes and blankets , squatting at a fire to cook isitshwala (please, not sadza), pounding mealie–meal engingeni and so on becomes the talk of the community.
Worse still if a man will tend a baby in any form (amutshube, ambelethe).
No!
Wadliswa.
Some women claim that male duties and responsibilities are fewer than theirs and apart from one or two of a light nature.
However, a typical father of a home rises up early before sunrise and his first call is the cattle kraal not only to be sure all is well, but also and mainly to admire his possession and to see if any of his cattle is not well.
(Kuthiwa ngomkhuba indoda eyindoda umthambiso wayo wokuqala ekuseni kumele ugelezele embelweni. Kwenza inkomo zakhe zizale kuhle.)
When the man returns from the cattle kraal he calls the boys to get up and take the cattle to the pastures for the morning (ukuyachakisa).
The grown up boys will be allocated duties like fencing the field, cutting any required poles, any digging for whatever, in spanning oxen or donkeys to carry loads, or running family errands.
Any construction work belongs to the male members. At about mid-day the boys bring back the cows for milking which is also their responsibility.
But thereafter womenfolk take over to process the milk (ukwetha uchago emaguleni kwenziwe amasi, ukwengula ulaza kuphekwe iphehla lifakwe emfumeni).
Boys will now take the cattle back to the pastures until sundown. A good father of the home will be present when his cattle are being kraaled back from wherever he spent his day.
There may be some truth that men are less busy in their homes than women.
There are many men who shun working in the fields doing ploughing, cultivating and weeding .
They spend their day at beer parties until late at night and only come back to disturb the tired wives.
As for the bigger boys, after lunch, they may now go hunting with their dogs. Nowadays, of course hunting is illegal, as is trapping animals.
Otherwise they spend their day roaming about meeting their friends or trying their luck with local girls.
The above description is intricately entwined with the life systems of the community and ultimately the nation as a whole.
Some aspects of family life will feature further as we explore family and interfamily relationships.
Further, it will be observed that most of the above description does not apply to urban settings.
People in the rural areas will more readily identify with these daily activities but for urban dwellers it is for information and cultural enrichment.
The father figure still dominates even in the urban homes and father continues ukutshaya umthetho.
However, in many cases the mother figure appears to be rearing its head more forcefully on the family.
It is the mother who allocates duties in the house and outside more than father who is “too busy”.
School and work as well as environmental factors have greatly altered the traditional family system. Children in urban centres are less conforming and tend to do their own thing.
Gender duties and responsibilities become blurred. Boys and girls may take turns to wash dishes and cutlery and sweep and tidy the house.
Feminists call it positive Westernisation, but traditionalists see it as an invasion of their manhood.
An interesting observation is that while female members will wash men’s clothes and things very few men will wash or even iron women’s clothes.
Hey!
What are the meanings of the following in respect of family life?:
- Uthunywe ngunina ukuyakokha umlilo ngakoMaSibanda.
- Uyise uvuka kule ayetshona enquma lamatshwala.
- UNdodana wathatha inyoka yomfazi elala ilanga lize lingene emlonyeni.
- UNJini ube lokhu enqumanquma efusini lakoNkomo efuna ukuhahabela uDojiwe otheza khonapho.
- Uhambe yedwa. Umphako wakhe bekungamagwadla lesigxingi samanzi.
