Building quality relationships


Human life is about relationships. Business, politics, and everything involving humanity works on and by relationships. Marriage and family operate on relationships. The quality of our lives is based primarily on the quality of our relationships. This quality does not happen by accident or miracles, but it is worked for.

Relationships: Kilton Moyo

Many people in the world are struggling with their love life because they are refusing to bow to the order of love
Many people in the world are struggling with their love life because they are refusing to bow to the order of love

In other words, we are responsible for the quality of our relationships. We are responsible for their success and failure. The sad thing is that we are living in a world that mocks relationships and teaches selfishness.

I want to share with you a few things that will produce good quality in your relationships, be it in marriage, family, business, politics etc. Relationships in the world are going sour every day. Relationships in politics are getting more harmful every day and these make the world a dangerous place to live in. Maybe you are in doubt, but look at your politics even here in Zimbabwe.

It is all about sour relationships. Look at the Middle East, America, Russia, South Africa, South Sudan, DRC etc.

It is all about broken relationships and people who do not care or value good relationships. How best can one work sound and good relationships?

Build on the foundation of all human relationships

Your individual relationship with God is the foundation of all your relationships. Unless you learn to cooperate and relate with God in His own way, all your relationships are sick. No matter how good they appear now, they are built on sinking sand and will not hold longer than they can.

Love deliberately

Love is the foundation for relationships. For love to work in your relationship, it must be used in its order of preference. Your first love is towards God. You can never love unless you have loved God, who is love. Many people in the world are struggling with their love life because they are refusing to bow to the order of love.

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and then you can be able to love yourself, so you can love your neighbour as yourself. People, who cannot love God first will harm others in the name of love. Have you never seen or heard of people who beat, torture, shame, ridicule or kill what they claim to love? They do not understand what love is because they have not loved, love or embraced love.

God’s love is embraced by accepting his love gift, Jesus Christ. In order to build sound relationships, love deliberately and this starts with loving God.

Know yourself first

People who do not know themselves confuse relationships. The quality of your relationship depends on your identity and purpose. Because you do not know yourself, you allow yourself to be abused anywhere and everywhere and you get into relationships looking for wrong things. If you do not know yourself, every relationship you walk into abuses you.

One reason why we have so many hurt people around is because they just allow themselves to be abused because they do not know who they are. I know this sounds controversial, but it’s the truth. Anyone who knows themselves will not allow anything to abuse them.

Invest in your relationships

Have you seen people who get into a relationship just to get. They never give anything into it, but expect to get so much from it. They are the first to complain that the relationship is not satisfying their egos and selfishness.

Many relationships are destroyed through selfishness. It is corruption to want to reap where you have not sown.

What you sow into a relationship is what you get out of it. How do you demand love, when you are giving hatred? How do you demand peace, when you are giving violence? How do you demand generosity, when you are giving stinginess? It cannot work like that.

Give what you want to receive from the relationship. If it’s a marriage relationship, give romance, love, peace, money, value and purpose. You shall reap likewise.

Do not rush to give sex

Many relationships that would have ended in good marriages are destroyed easily by the rush to give sex. You met them today and you are giving your body to them today. That is strange and a lack of wisdom. That is not love, but lust.

This is not building, but destroying. Yet many people are caught up in this snare. Did you know that many men, once they get your body as a lady, their pursuit for you takes a turn? To keep the fire building up until it matures into pure love, hold the key. We have many people hurt because of this issue and yet it can be controlled.

I have said it in the past that sex does not qualify love. It does not even build a relationship, but love does.
Learn to love first and build on love and then you will reap the love harvest.

Work on your relationships

Many people in the world are lazy to work on relationships. That is why they just break up like that. Do not get into a relationship if you are not prepared to work. There are many lazy people around who want to be loved but cannot love. Love is reciprocal and so is life. They demand others to love them, but they cannot love back or give the same. That is out of order.

Do you want to enjoy good relationships, try to love? Love God first and see what will happen. Life is about relationships. We need each other every step of it. We need good, sound and healthy relationships at home, in politics, in business, sports, and everywhere. Let us be deliberate about our relationships and this world will be beautiful again.

Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme, and is pastor, counsellor and author of Marriage Fitness. Call or whatsapp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or