WHEN I sat down to decide what to write about this week, I was torn between an analysis of the first 100 days of the exclusive Zanu PF government and that of the clean-up by the Media, Information and Broadcasting Services minister Jonathan Moyo at the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation.
Both make juicy stories which compounded my dilemma. So in order to satisfy myself and a host of sadists following this column, I have decided to deal with both, hence the title which I find ambiguous.
Allow me to explain. In 1992, when some of you were still zygotes, I had the chance to attend the first Pan-African Congress to be held on African soil in Kampala, Uganda. When you google Pan-African Congress you learn that it was born out the need to repatriate Africans in the Diaspora under what was called the Back-to-Africa Movement.
It counts the Marcus Garvey celebrated by Rastas worldwide, and WEB Du Bois among its luminaries.
Anyway, to cut the very long story short, in between the long proceedings of the conference and the unfolding drama of the massacres in Rwanda, we took time to watch protest theatre at its best. Accompanying me were my friends and erstwhile colleagues Vusi Silonda and Tula Dlamini.
One of the plays we watched was one aptly titled 100 Years of Bananas. It was about a fictitious African country ruled by an equally fictitious dictator whose character was an amalgam of several of that era’s oppressive rulers.
There was a bit of Mobutu Sese Seko, a tinge of Jean-Bédel Bokassa and a dash of Hastings Kamuzu Banda all rolled into one.
The Kamuzu aspect of the character made a hilarious inspection of the guard of honour. Remember the Malawian strongman had reached an age I would call well beyond geriatric. So here was this character, walking stick in hand, tottering along a line of soldiers with an aide holding what looked like a drip stuck to his withered hand.
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As they round the parade for the second row, the Kamuzu character collapses in a heap and has to be carried for the rest of the inspection! The storyline more of a lament on the condition of African states which at independence held so much hope for their expectant populations, but had quickly slid into decay — every single one of them.
In that year, Zimbabwe had an economy that was the envy of many and we sniggered at Zambia and Mozambique, despite the sacrifice they made for our liberation. We laughed at their potholes and baulked at their untreated water. We had it so good, until it happened. The banana republic syndrome.
In the ’60s the United States engineered the establishment of governments in Latin America that exported mostly bananas to the world. The issue was not about the exports which mostly serviced the American appetite for bananas.
It was the sorry state of the governments themselves and their leaders. They became the most mismanaged countries on the globe and so the moniker “banana republic” was associated with chaos and mediocrity.
This brings us back to Zimbabwe. After a litany of excuses and failed economic programmes we have become the classic banana republic.
The first 100 days of this republic is full of promises that sound empty and the usual scapegoats are being paraded. We are tired of excuses.
Let us see people working and have less talking please. The economy is dying, correction, it’s dead. The cash economy is a joke and banks are telling us to wait for money that we deposited there in the first place.
We have crafted yet another economic revival programme called Zim Asset which is being set up to fail. I must admit that I have not gone through this volume.
I find that a tad tedious because I suspect it’s a cut and paste job from the previous blueprints that litter the shelves at the Finance ministry.
Nothing has changed except the faces in this game of musical chairs. What has the new government got to show? Brand spanking new Mercs, Jeeps, Range Rovers and 4x4s.
We haven’t reviewed and evaluated not a single of the previous economic experiments. Something is cockeyed here. It’s like putting the cart before the horse.
We don’t need blueprints, but rather what we want is people rolling up their sleeves and doing the work.
It is interesting that our nemesis Tony Blair made a comment that when he became prime minister he was of the mistaken view that government was there to make sure things work.
He was shocked to discover that it was the opposite. He says he spent his entire career in the government trying to change this reality. So it figures!
In conclusion, my reaction to the clean-up campaign that is sweeping through the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation is that God is there for all of us and is good all the time! Lenox Mhlanga is a social commentator Twitter: @lenoxmhlanga
