HOW would you feel to find your woman with another man in bed? I wouldn’t take that lightly and so would other men. At times as a writer you have to hear what some people have gone through.
For women cheating, is it because their legal man is not sexually satisfying enough? Are some women created with that insatiable appetite for sex? This writer had to dig the reasons why women cheat.
Women want to feel wanted
One reader, Ntokozo Buhali in Bulawayo said: “It depends on how well you treat your woman . . . they are people to be cared for, spoiled and, they want to hear good, sweet words from their man. They want to be treated as the ‘only lady’ in the world . . . If you don’t do that to your woman then they surely will find it somewhere . . . cheat!”
Women want to feel wanted and if you are not making her feel that way she will seek it somewhere.
Women are species of attention. If they lack it, they could seek it somewhere which becomes very unfortunate. As her man, appreciate her and tell her how wonderful she is. Men can be so reserved at times to an extent of suppressing the word “love”. When did you last tell your woman “I love you”? Offer her emotional support in all instances.
Tit for tat
“She will be cheating because the man has done it first; trust me, unless if she is not serious with the marriage. If you treat her sweeter she stays faithful for forever”, Benjamin Chirove from Binga says.
Some women have been wounded and wronged by their men and that makes them feel betrayed and their trust broken. As a way of revenge they would rather hurt the husband by means of cheating.
Lack of money
“Two things cause women to cheat; either lack of money or sex. What causes men to cheat it’s an endless list. May be it’s the Adamic nature that makes polygamism to be in us” comments Mthulisi Dube in Bulawayo. Some commercial sex workers involved are married women.
To them sex is a means of ekeing a living because someone is willing to pay for it. That’s not the licence to cheat, but men should lead and be responsible enough to fend for their families. There are also many entrepreneurial projects that women can have besides selling sex.
Lack of intimacy
The cash, car and everything else is available, but intimacy seems to have grown cold. The same old and monotonous sex styles are being used and the woman sees it fit to engage the services of a garden boy to douse the appetite for sex.
At times it’s not about sex, but women need that kiss, the cuddling, quality time together and good communication.
Lack of diversity
Both men and women are affected by this. The fact that you have your favourite meal does not mean you can have it daily. There is need of spicing up.
Bedroom boredom is another aspect that causes people to want to know what there is out there. Change the place you have sex. Try new sex styles.
Small surprises make a bigger difference.
Misunderstanding of roles
“Married people should know their role emtshadweni (marriage) especially women, omama bangazensisa obaba vele bazaphuma (women should be serious because if they are not men will seek women outside the marriage).
Married people out there know what should be done. Bayazekelela,” Smilo Ndlovu from Matopo said.
Disparity of demography
“Nowadays women say there are few men, while the male counterparts say it’s not a cheating culture, but the imbalance of demography allows them to have more than one partner . . . Zvinhu zvacho haumbonzwisisa kuti zviri kufamba sei” (Gabriella Rutendo in Harare).
Parting point: These reasons why some women cheat do not give the reason for cheating. To build a better relationship counts every day. Espouse the need for education.
Strive to make your partner feel great, good and grandeur even though it could be at your expense. To all men, next week we are focusing on you. Let’s continue to echo your views on Facebook and WhatsApp.
Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach and motivational speaker.