MANY women look at a relationship as the end instead of the beginning, the ultimate instead of the unlimited.
A lot of women in relationships are just focused on enjoying their relationship now.
They have been doing that all through 2014 and hoped “Mr man” was going to put a ring on it and now, the year is done and he hasn’t.
Truth be told — I don’t see him getting down on his knee in 2015 either. He will keep playing you as long as possible.
Frowning and confused? Well, a lot of women are dating men who are not on the same page as them. They are hoping for marriage but he has been given every reason not to commit because he is getting all the benefits already.
The woman will say: “Why won’t he marry me?! We are happy together. We’re soul mates. I give him everything he needs. This doesn’t make sense.”
Let me help you make sense of it.
Here are five reasons why he just won’t marry you.
As a boyfriend, he gets all that he wants from you — you, as the cow produce the milk and he, as the buyer, gets it for free. What motivation does he have to marry you? He gets sex, food, and his laundry done for free.
He already gets all the “wife benefits” so marrying you in 2015 wouldn’t make sense because you sold yourself short by lowering your standards.
He still wants sex with other women, not just you alone — For a lot of men having sex with just one woman doesn’t make sense, though biblically it should be that way. And specifically, sex only as a married couple.
Sex won’t make him commit or stay faithful. The truth of the matter is some men just want to “try” a variety of women.
Being married or in a serious and committed relationship doesn’t mean anything to them unfortunately. So if you discover you are dating that kind of man, please don’t fool yourself. Don’t expect a ring in 2015.
He has a very negative and wrong perception of marriage — Most women seriously underestimate how much some men are affected by their family background. Most men don’t realise it either!
If he comes from a broken home or community and never got the privilege to see a model marriage relationship or understand how to function as a husband or father, chances are, he has a very wrong perception about marriage and is likely never to commit to one. He can have children with a woman but will never say “I do”.
The concept of a good marriage is completely alien to him. Unless something drastic happens, he’s not going to change in his mind 2015.
He is not truly in love with you – Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but a lot of women are in a relationship with a man who doesn’t really love them and I don’t see that changing in 2015.
He will never give you a ring because he doesn’t love you enough, dear. Just because he cares for you, doesn’t mean he loves you enough to make a marriage commitment.
You give him enough to keep him around and he’ll give you the attention that you want but it’s not enough to commit. Getting all the benefits you freely give is good enough for him.
This is the reason why there are lots of women today in a long relationship but the man isn’t even dreaming of changing your surname. It may exist in yours but the words “Will you marry me?” Don’t exist in his dictionary.
He is the centre of your life – You are obsessed with doing anything to please your man. You don’t want to lose him.
You know you don’t listen to the type of music he does, but now you’re the telling him about the latest single by his favourite artist.
You like watching romantic movies. He hates them, and now you can’t even remember the last time you choose which movie to watch. You like eating vegetables.
He claims to be allergic to everything except spinach. Now you can’t even remember the taste of butternut. He made a little comment about the way you dress, and since then you always dress like you are Miss Soweto, Miss Nairobi, Miss Zimbabwe and Miss Nigeria, all together.
It’s complete and unchecked obsession. You are overly conscious of your weight, spend too much money on him and don’t hold him accountable for anything. All because you want a husband.
Your life has changed entirely and not necessarily for good. Meanwhile, he’s made no adjustments to his life but is enjoying every benefit and taking advantage of you.
Let me just drop a note here to my brothers
Man-to-man, there is no point playing around with a woman you don’t intend to marry. Let her go, stop being manipulative and deceitful. There is another man waiting to be with her — to truly be with her.
Either correct your behaviour — the cheating, insecurity and player attitude, or leave. If you recognise and know you fall under any of the five points above, do yourself a favour and consider a self-transformation initiative.
Enough of the drama and damage
For all of you ladies who are waiting for the question to be popped in 2015, I am sorry, but if you are dealing with a man who has adopted any of these ways, don’t expect a miracle.
The only miracle you need is to cut ties and run away for the sake of your future. There are a lot of good men waiting for the opportunity to marry you.
Save yourself the hurt, pains and hurtful experiences that will leave you with the kind of scars that require many years of healing. Prove me wrong in 2015. Value your worth. Do you think you will get married in 2015?
Why or why not?