ONE of the reasons I write this way is to encourage marriages in this generation considering the importance of marriage in God’s plan for humanity.
BY KILTON MOYO
The Bible refers to Christ’s relationship with His Church as a marriage. He is the bridegroom and the church is the bride and this relationship models the husband and wife relationship. It is a heavenly model of every marriage on earth.
This means that every husband is an image of Christ to their wives and they have to do to their wives what Christ does to the church.
Jesus is the head of the Church while the husband is the head of the wife. To be a husband therefore is not just a male function and cannot be fully understood culturally or otherwise. It is a spiritual responsibility and there is a set standard for it.
Ephesians 5 vs. 25-28, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their bodies for he who loves his wife loves himself.
The standard of measure for every husband is “as Christ” and not as our fore- fathers. It is not a simple thing to love like Christ. We need Christ Himself to help us. The office of a husband cannot be occupied through the flesh. It is as spiritual as it is real and has already set standards. Unfortunately these days, there is so much happening completely defiling the heavenliness of this office.
You will agree with me that this is one office human nature and culture has reduced to a laughing stock. However, I want to say to all husbands out there, the Jesus who sits in this office as our set example will judge us should we continue misrepresenting Him the way we do. Let’s us therefore help each other so we can perhaps awaken to the standards. How do I behave towards my wife as a husband?
Love her just as Christ loved the Church despite her faults. You are not in competition with Christ but he is your standard.
Your desire is to be able to love like Christ. We all can do it if we are committed to Christ first. Love her as your own body. She is your body. Remember that at creation she was taken from Adam’s side so they could fulfill the one flesh ministry.
If you hurt/hate her, you are hurting yourself. Believe you me, there are so many of us in this generation who are self-haters. When you abuse her, you are abusing yourself. When you do all the evil you do to her you are doing it to yourself and now this is a brainless thing. Something is totally wrong with such kind of behaviour and thinking.
Sacrifice for your wife. Christ gave himself up for the church. This is our greatest challenge as husbands. Some of us have exposed our wives and allowed our relatives, friends and even small houses to abuse them and hurt them. We have become enemies to them and we cannot protect them in any manner. Every husband has to give it all for the wife.
You are working for them and their upkeep. You are providing and nurturing and nourishing. You are sharing them with no other thing.
Listen and hear their concerns. The reason we pray is so that Christ would listen to us and hear our concerns, fears and worries and help us. Many of us as husbands we do not listen to our wives but expect Christ to listen to us when we pray. Instead we rubbish them and make them vulnerable and destroy their capacity even to submit. Our role is to take care of them and be sensitive to their needs.
I am not being anti-all human traditions but you will agree with me that our tradition makes us insensitive to the needs of our wives and even women in general.
We want them to be sensitive to our own needs and we will beat them up if they do not. We are turning Christ upside down and failing in our role as husbands if we do this. Husbands are servants to their wives as Christ is to the Church. He came not to be served but to serve. Husbands are to nourish and cherish their own flesh which is the wife just as the Lord does the church.
Always ask yourself this one question as a husband, “How do I want Christ to treat me?” The way you treat her is the way you want to be treated. Will it be fair if you were treated the way you are treating her? My beloved brothers and fathers out there, we have a duty, a serious godly duty to perform as husbands.
Never mind the moods and the behaviour of the wives. Just look at how the church behaves towards Jesus these days, but He continues to love, nourish and cherish, forgive. He protects and inspires. This is what you are called to do as a husband. Love just as Christ.
Kilton Moyo writes in his own capacity as pastor, counselor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or whatsap on +263 775 337 207, 0772 610 103 or 0712 384 841.