WE are shaped and sharpened by associations.
Associations challenge you, change you, and even charge you. The inverse is true.
If poverty is shaped by associations, riches are also found in associations.
If you are to change your life completely, the choice of your friends matters.
Relationship audit
Friends either give you energy or drain you.
Who has access to your life? Who speaks with you all the time? What shapes their thinking?
Does their thinking shape your thoughts? What sharpens the thinking of your clique? What is the common denominator?
- Association: Choose circles that elevate
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Make a list of your friends. What brings you together? What is the level of your friends’ income?
Positive EnergySpend time with people who challenge your thinking.
Your friends are either giving or taking away energy.
Who you stick around with determines what sticks on you.
Safety net
We thrive where we feel safe to express our feelings, emotions, and vulnerabilities.
As creative beings, we have imperfections and feel very uncomfortable if blamed for them.
We’ve made our own fair share of mistakes — and that makes us human.
Most people want to be in a safe space where they are encouraged to do better.
If they are not appreciated, they slowly walk away from relationships that always see them in a bad light.
Broaden your net
It’s never enough to have good friends — you must have great friends.
They might be good, but there is something they lack.
This causes an imbalance in them and in the relationship with them.
Look for friends who positively feed into every sphere of your life.
Seeking happiness in the wrong places
In relationships, we sometimes assume that happiness comes from our friends.
At times we think it comes from money.
Sometimes we feel our partner should be the source of our happiness.
Yes, those things can contribute to our excitement or enjoyment, but if you are not happy innately, you might not be happy even when you have a great partner.
First, be a purpose-driven person. Secondly, your answers to happiness are from within.
Let other people complement what you have or who you are.
The level of satisfaction is determined by your personal fulfilment before we involve other people.
So, get yourself together before you get into a relationship.
You need to be healed — or you might never get healing from your partner.
Figure out how you can be the best.
Personal growth
To build strong and positive relationships, you must be learning and willing to learn all the time
This shifts our belief systems and liberates our thinking.
Personal growth changes how we think and opens our minds to the possibilities of success — including relationships.
Being open to new experiences, opportunities for self-improvement, and continuous development leads to success.
Self-acceptance
This involves having a positive attitude toward oneself, acknowledging both good and bad qualities, and feeling positive about one’s past.
Build in relationships
Your ability to build positive relationships might be the best winning tool you have at your disposal.
Master yourself first before you build on other social skills.
Walk away
We need to learn to walk away from toxic relationships.
When it’s not adding to you, it’s taking life from you.
Walk away from friends who want you to connive in doing bad things.
Parting point
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down,” said Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host, television producer, actress, author and media proprietor.
Now it’s time to check who is in your life.
If they are not giving, they are taking. If they are not adding, they are subtracting.
If they are not challenging, they might be weak. If they can’t walk with you, they will not work with you.
If they are not building, they are killing. Have great friends.
- Jonah Nyoni is an author, speaker, and leadership trainer. Follow Jonah on Twitter @jonahnyoni. WhatsApp: +263 772 581 918
